Editor’s Note: “Underground Nashville” covers artists, authors, musicians, poets, political figures, and other compelling people and happenings not typically covered by the mainstream Nashville media. It also presents reflections and commentary from an underground/indie perspective. As I told ‘The Tennessean’ in 2008, “since moving to Nashville twenty-five years ago, I have met people whose lives do not remotely reflect the caricature of what many outside our city presume to be a ‘Nashvillian’ or the Nashville experience.” “Underground Nashville” thus explores the soul of the city, not its surface—offering “thoughts from the shadows of a great American city.”
More than 4,000 men, women, and children now are homeless in Nashville—a significant increase since The Great Recession began. To make sure these human beings have the food, shelter, and love they need, please donate to the Nashville Rescue Mission by calling (615) 255-2475 or by visiting Nashvillerescuemission.org. Thank you.
Rachel Gladstone riffs on dudes, relationships, marriage, and divorce
By Dave Carew
Rachel Gladstone—one of Nashville’s most talented humor writers, bloggers, and novelists—has spent the past year building a national following for her “The Petty Chronicles” blog on FirstWivesWorld.com. Because Rachel now has a devoted national following—eager for her insightful take on men, relationships, marriage, and divorce—Underground Nashville sought her out for an exclusive interview. Here’s how it went:
UNDERGROUND NASHVILLE: What three characteristics do you think MOST women find MOST attractive in a man?
RACHEL GLADSTONE: There’s a funny movie called P.S. I Love You where one of the female characters is looking for love and she asks the same three questions of every man she meets:
1. Are you single?
2. Are you straight?
3. Are you working?
These are important questions, and ones I think all women wish we could ask the first time we meet a man we’re attracted to. The bottom line for me is whether or not the guy can make me laugh, can afford to take me out to for a meal that is at least a few notches above Waffle House, and can string more than two sentences together at a time. Intelligence is a huge turn-on for most women, but the bottom line is: Is he a good kisser?
UN: What is the most important thing a man can do to REMAIN attractive to the woman he is with?
RG: Always remain attentive to her needs. Make her feel special. Compliment her and for God’s sake, help with the housework once in a while! Also, men tend to get controlling once they’re in a relationship and nobody likes to be bossed around. And don’t forget how important it is to talk, talk, talk about everything!
UN: Statistics show a majority of divorces in the U.S. are initiated by the woman. Why do you think that is true?
RG: I think men become complacent once they’re done with the pursuit of a woman, and feel they have her where they want her. But people grow; they evolve over time. Most women remain interested in life and they want to try new things, meet new people, explore new interests. Quite often I think their husbands want to stick with the routines they’ve gotten used to, and therein lies the rub. If he’s lying around watching sports all weekend, and doing a bit of yard work, this will inevitably be the beginning of a big yawn-fest for her. Also, once again, I think men tend to become controlling about things like money and her independence and this can become a very slippery slope. Once you head down it, it’s hard to turn back. Also, most women are far more open to this thing we call “communication.” Men are often reticent to open up about their feelings—or may not even know how to name the blasted things—but it’s paramount that they don’t discount the importance of talking to their wives.
David M. (Dave) Carew is editor of “Underground Nashville” and the author of the novels “Everything Means Nothing to Me: A Novel of Underground Nashville” and “Voice from the Gutter.” He also is a freelance publicist and copywriter.