Time out for comedy

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Middle Tennessee has been devastated by flooding from which it will take months—in some cases years—to recover. Please join the recovery effort by contacting Hands on Nashville at Hon.org or by calling (in Nashville) 211. Otherwise, please call 800-318-9355. You can also support The Salvation Army’s relief efforts by going to Salarmy-Nashville.com of calling 800-725-2769.  Thank you.

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Time out for comedy

What if you were a writer for Jay Leno? I recently asked myself that question on a whim—because I’d never done that type of writing before—and here are some gags I came up with:
Have you ever noticed that weird phenomenon where you’re e-mailing someone, back and forth, and—after about the sixth message back and forth—the subject line now has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with what you’re writing about? I mean, you can be over there writing “God, what a bummer. My dog just died.” And the subject line will be like “Try this great pizza recipe!”

Barack Obama is an interesting phenomenon. Democrats think he gets especially knocked ‘cause he’s a black guy.  Republicans think he gets a PASS because he’s a black guy.  Shaquille O’Neal thinks he gets a pass because he’s open near the free-throw line.

I understand the new healthcare-reform forces insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions. For the first time ever, George W. Bush will be able to receive coverage for the rare congenital condition he suffers from…being born an American without the ability to speak English.

Did you hear about the new Tiger Woods commercial for Nike? The commercial lasts 30 seconds . . . which is 29 seconds longer than Tiger’s REMORSE lasted.

David M. (Dave) Carew is editor of “Underground Nashville” and the author of the novels “Everything Means Nothing to Me: A Novel of Underground Nashville” and “Voice from the Gutter.” He also is a freelance publicist and copywriter.

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